Dear South African clothing shops
Please get your shit together and work out a way to standardise your sizing!
I spent the entire morning and half the afternoon yesterday walking around Canal Walk buying new clothes. Unfortunately, most of my time was spent heading back into the fitting rooms. This is because I genuinely have NO CLUE what size I am… None whatsoever.
I ended up buying pants and skirts in:
How can I be all these sizes at the same time?!?
It’s got to the point where I hate shopping because I never know what to pick up and take to the fitting room. With a limit of 5/6 items, my options seem to be to either take several items in a random size each and hope that one fits, or take one item in every possible size… In the last year or two I think I’ve bought 2 pairs of pants because I keep giving up after trying on 2/3 different sizes.
The only reason I ended up getting so much yesterday is because I just plain refused to give up. I was in desperate need of new pants and had to make something happen now.
This is kinda sad because I used to love shopping. But ever since sizes started to become so erratic, I dread trying to find pants to fit me… So please South African shops, sort this out!
Regards,
A sizeless shopper
*Image sourced here
This is quite a common theme and I’m sure a lot of these ideas have been covered by people far more knowledgeable than I, but I thought I would add my 2 cents worth 
Growing up I loved Disney, as did every other kid, and part of me still does. I may be jaded about love and not believe in fairy tales but I do still want to believe in magic. So I do But in the process of growing up I did a course at university which opened my eyes quite a bit. The course was Contemporary Popular Culture and the best part of it was the “Disney is evil and has brainwashed you” section. The funniest part was watching how angry the students got when the lecturer trashed a huge part of their childhood (I sometimes wonder how these people survive in the real world if they refuse to look beyond the obvious and can’t workout that the lecturer was merely pushing the envelope to get us to think and question… the entire point of doing a BA!!! But I digress…)
So here are my brain farts on Disney (some original Faeron, some not…) :
Beauty and the Beast: Succumbing to Stockholm Syndrome… It’s ok, so long as it gets you a husband! (this, so-long-as-it-gets-you-a-husband theme is quite common in Disney)
Aladdin: Don’t work hard kiddies, steal stuff and a Princess will fall for you… Of course she believed you were a Prince at the time of said falling and by the time she realised what you really were it was too late and she had invested. In other words, pretend to be what you aren’t and then by the time the lies fall down you’ll be trapped. Oh wait, I think I may sound bitter here 
The Little Mermaid: My favourite Disney movie! But… Getting a wave to splash dramatically behind you while you sing about growing legs and stalking a man is really difficult. Have you ever tried it? It really isn’t that easy. And the whole dramatic hair flip as you gracefully burst out of the ocean… No… Long hair is very rarely graceful when you are emerging from the ocean, best not to attempt that.
(And I know both of these Mermaid points as a result of years of attempting to accomplish them, both in the swimming pool and the ocean… The only part I got right ever was the stalking – oh, wait, I wasn’t supposed to admit that out loud )
The Lion King: Well aside from the fact that there are no people in Africa… and the bad guy has a British accent (yes America, we do notice these things). I don’t think this movie tried to teach us anything too bad. I even met a guy in Zanzibar who said “Asante sana, squash banana”
(But I assume that was because some obnoxious tourist once asked him to and he got a good reaction from the other idjit tourists around so he continues say it…)
There are so many other instances of stupid women in Disney movies. I mean, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White both get woken up by true love’s kiss… They never met the guy! And in Sleeping Beauty’s case, he’s how much younger than her?!?
But I think Disney has redeemed itself and isn’t all evil. Have you seen Enchanted? Do yourself a favour and watch it! Amy Adams is the luckiest girl in the world because she gets to play a real-life Disney Princess (I secretly hate her for that, but can’t think of a more perfect actress to play the part).
But why I love this movie and why I think it redeems Disney, is because they made fun of themselves and made fun of the entire genre of animated fairy tales that they created and became famous for. It’s a funny and whimsical Disney movie while still being intelligent.
I’ll let you in on a little secret I swear by; underwear.
It’s not just about good underwear in my book. If you need a pick me up, a set of nice, matching underwear can do you so much good. And it makes me feel pretty when I wear underwear with a bit of lace or sparkle, even if I’m not wearing anything fancy clothes wise.
Don’t believe me? Just try it. Tomorrow wear something nice (and matching) under your everyday clothes, you will feel the difference. It makes you feel a little naughty because you know if you somehow happened to get caught in your underwear, you would look hot. It’s amazing how a set of matching underwear can make your body look so much hotter! I have few proper sets but other than that I just make sure the colours match. It’s my way of feeling good when I get dressed
I always used to look at pretty underwear in the shops and think that there is no point in buying it if I don’t have someone in my life to buy it for… But then I remembered that my motto is do things for me.
And I also always hear my mother telling me to wear nice underwear in case I’m in an accident and the paramedics have to take my clothes off…
It scares me to know how few people actually realise what trickery is going on in the world of advertising. It also scares me that advertisers are allowed to get away with soooooo much lying by using the teensiest of fine print to cover their rears.
A few years ago there was a massive scandal in the world of advertising beauty products (See here for the Kate Moss Mascara-gate Saga). Rimmel Mascara ads were banned and make-up advertisers were told that they had to put disclaimers on all their ads to warn the public that the models wearing the product they are selling you have been enhanced, ei. the model had been photoshopped and their flawless complexion was not as a result of this great new product you are being sold. (Via May Loves Makeup )
The biggest disclaimer which I have always laughed at is the use of false lashes in mascara adverts. I always go looking for the disclaimer because the fine print here really could not be smaller.
See the tiny little strip of white writing? That's the disclaimer making this legal!
Some ads, even though they put the disclaimer have been banned anyway because they are just pushing it too far with the falsies….
(Via: Makeup Savvy )
I know 1 product that can really make your lashes longer like they say in the ad... but it ain't mascara
Now I wonder if anyone will say anything about the latest ad from Maybelline? It’s one thing to use false lashes to sell your mascara and put a disclaimer on the ad… But can you really do this for Maybelline’s latest mascara? It just seems wrong!
I do hope the lovely use of irony is not lost on the advertisers!
I think I may be going a little crazy (well if you know me, going is too kind a word really) but my weight loss and weight gain does not make sense!
OK, before you start trying to explain biology to me, I know if you eat too much you put weight on and if you eat too little you lose weight. And there are many other ways to gain and lose weight
What I’m saying is weird, is where the weight comes and goes from. It is just wrong!
When I put on weight, it immediately aims for my hips! Then it hits my face and then my middle. And then only after that, much later, will my boobs get bigger. It just isn’t right because that’s the one place I could do with a bit of help.
And then when I lose weight, regardless of where I was in the weight gain cycle, I lose weight in my boobs! How is that possible?!? And don’t even get me started on the fairness of it all!
Murphy, sometimes, well most of the time, you suck 
2012 © Faeron Wheeler , Read my blog... You know you want to!
